This is my 'get real' post. The last few months have been some of the hardest months in my life. I have been struggling with pretty brutal baby blues. Having six kids has been much harder than I anticipated. I have crawled into a little cave and I still don't want to come out most days. I miss my best friend something fierce. If I think about her being so far away, I immediately go to a dark place. Henry cries a whole lot. He's getting better. The laundry is endless... I never want to cook... I struggle living so far away from family... I'm just having a hard time right now. But, I am slowly becoming myself again. The days are getting a little brighter and I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully I'll get over this soon. If not, I may need to seek professional help.
This smile is getting me through my hard days. There is nothing like a gummy Muppet grin.
His little face is perfect. I honestly don't think he could be any cuter if he tried.
After weeks of really hard colicky days I finally gave in and called the doctor. Turns out he had outgrown his reflux medication and needed a higher dose... and he had a really yucky ear infection. Poor little guy.
One day of medicine and he was a different baby!
He still has his crying spells every once in awhile but he is doing so much better.
His hardest times of day are right when I need to make dinner. I usually have to hold him and cook at the same time, which is rather difficult. Luckily I have Lincoln. He is my little helper when Daddy isn't home yet. Henry adores his biggest brother. They have such a sweet bond already. I posted this picture on one trying day with the caption "My little sous chef didn't make it through the dinner rush."
He fell asleep among the chaos of bedtime baths and the bedtime routine. He is getting better at sleeping on his own without being held. He even puts himself to sleep like this every once in awhile. Things are looking up.
1 comment:
I can't speak for your exact circumstances, but I really struggled after my 3rd was born. All of my babies had bad, bad reflux, and spent their first 5-6 months screaming, and even though medication helped, it never got entirely better until they started to grow out it. I thought that by the 3rd time around I could handle it, but everything around me just kept getting darker and more difficult to face. I'd struggled with anxiety and depression during that pregnancy, and saw a therapist for a while, which did help, but what helped me more was a prescription for Zoloft about 3 months post-partum. I'd always thought anti-depression meds were a last resort, and maybe they are, but I can vouch that in my case at least, there was a definite chemical imbalance that was sending me over the edge. It didn't take long once I'd adapted to the medicine to start feeling like my old self again. I was on it for about a year before I felt like I had a good enough handle on things to wean myself off, and I've been fine ever since -- though I'm keeping a closer watch on myself as I get closer to the delivery of my 4th in case this happens again. I really don't want to be in that dark place again if I can help it. I guess all this to say that if you are having such a hard time pulling yourself out, at least see your doctor to talk about options for help. It sounds to me like this might be more than typical baby blues.
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